When you first enter twofo, you will be greeted by your friendly hub bot, named Dogtanian. He watches over the hub in peace making sure the hub rules are obeyed absolutely, and supplying almost endless amounts of fun to those who know the true meaning of boredom whilst avoiding work.
General Hub Information
If a command has [get] in front of it, this means that the command will work with and without get i.e. -rules and -getrules will bring up the same information. However, typing -[get]rules in the chat window will likely cause Dogtanian a severe amount of mental anguish and he may insult you.
|-commands||Brings up a short list of the commands available to you with a brief description of what each one does|
|-[get]rules||Displays the Rules list for the hub|
|-[get]status||Displays some basic stats about the hub. Max users both overall and for each day of the week, hub uptime etc|
|-[get]help||Displays a link to the Client Help page on the twofo wiki|
|-[get]minshare||Shows the minimum share needed to connect to the hub at present|
|-time||Displays the current time according to the twofo clock. May not take into account Daylight Savings Time but otherwise accurate to around 30 minutes.|
|-forum||Displays a link to the twofo forums|
|-stats||Displays a link to the twofo chat stats|
|-dns||For when and if you need access to public DNS servers (say for if the Warwick ones have died again and you can only connect to twofo), this will give you the server IPs for Google, OpenDNS and DNS Advantage|
So far all of the commands will work 100% of the time on the hub, assuming something hasn't gone massively wrong with the hub, and you haven't been specifically banned for some reason best known to yourself.
The following commands have been deemed to be too annoying when used in excess (you know who you are), and so can only be used if Dogtanian is awake. The dog can only be awakened by the act of an op either gently waking it or force feeding it copious amounts of coffee. the long term effects of coffee on DC++ bots is an ongoing study.
Remember though that if you are constantly using the dog (whole pages of just you talking to a dog is quite ugly), you run the risk of being kicked and almost guarantee that the dog will be sent to bed, either gently or with the thus far mysterious -stfu command. Guesses on a postcard for what this could mean please, we're really quite stumped.
|-[get]ip||Shows your current IP. |
NB: If on campus just go to http://checkip.dyndns.org instead as the command returns the wrong IP.
|-[get]info <nick>||Displays whether a specific user is on or off campus and whether they are in active or passive mode|
|-resnet||Displays a list of all users currently connected from campus (In theory anyway)|
|-tell <nick> <msg>||Using this, a person can ask the dog to store a message for another user that will be sent either when (s)he next signs onto the hub, or if they are online already, the next time they say something in main chat.|
For instance '-tell astropoint Hi, I've just downloaded several hundred gigabytes of Star Trek and was wondering if you wanted to come and do a marathon Trek week with me
|-seen <nick>||The Dog will inform you of the last line spoken in main chat by the specific user. This only works for people who have said something in main chat, it DOES NOT tell you the last time somebody connected to the hub. For example |
<Dogtanian> itsmonktastic was last seen on <Date and Time> saying: I'm off to do that work I should have started 3 months ago. ARGH! EXAMS!!'
Again, all of these commands will only work for you if the Dog is awake, and feeling friendly.
|Essential for all life changing decisions. For instance, you wake up in the morning and find yourself 5 mins late for a lecture, do you rush there to enjoy as much of the fulfilling learning experience you went to university for as possible, or do you roll over and go back to sleep. '-flipacoin Lecture or Sleep' will tell you what the dog thinks of your predicament.|
Also note that the Dog's coins are almost infinitely sided, and so can be used to pose such complex philosophical questions as '-flipacoin Lecture or Sleep or have breakfast' and many more.
NB. Dogtanian cannot be held responsible for any adverse affect he has upon your degree.
|-lotto||Your winning lottery numbers for the week. Guaranteed to win money every week1.|
|-8ball <foo>||Magic 8-Ball!!! Dogtanian certainly loves to be helpful in your day to day life. here he replaces the need to go out and buy a Magic 8-Ball to answer those questions that cannot be solved by merely flipping a coin.|
'-8ball Will I be happy if I go and join the Trek marathon?
<Dogtanian> Signs Point to Yes'
|-ddate||For those of you who feel the Gregorian Calendar is simply too boring for modern life, here is the solution, the Discordian Date. Amaze your friends and psychiatrists with your intimate knowledge of this rare method of tracking the year.|
All one word
|Nobody is entirely sure what BigG was smoking the day he invented this command, but here is an attempt at an explanation of it.|
1. Arrange the user list by share size and take a note of your share.
2. Starting from the bottom, sum up the share sizes of the users online until you go past your total share.
3. Count the number of users this took, divide by the total number of users on the hub (ignoring the bots) and you have the answer.
I am sure I can say from everybody that we wish BigG well in his recovery and that one day he will be able to return to society as a normal functional member.
|-boinc||Displays statistics on the BOINC projects being participated in by members of twofo. See the BOINC page for more details.|
1Assumes the same numbers come up on the lottery itself.
Rock Paper Scissors
The tension mounts...3...sweat pours down your forehead...2...the countdown to your left seems to be taking forever...1...and quick as a flash you pull your hand from behind your back shouting ROCK, only to find that Dogtanian has chosen paper and beaten you again. I swear that dog knows how to cheat.
|It's reasonably obvious that each of these does. You play the dog in a game of one on one, sudden death RPS. Rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper and paper beats rock, which from what we have seen gives you about a 1/5 chance of actually winning. Nobody knows how the dog does maths but we think it involves several levels of Quantum Mechanics.|
|Dogtanian kindly keeps track of all those times you lost versus him and proudly shows of himself in the top 5 and you in the bottom 5. <number> can be any number of your choosing their depending on how far you want your embarrassment to go at seeing how many users are ahead of you, but please be sensible. Dogtanian is allergic to spaffing out too much data like that and so may tell you off for trying.|
|-getrps <nick>||Gives you the RPS score of the specific user.|
twofo Live! / ChatRelayBOT
ChatRelayBOT is a new addition to the pantheon of bots now inhabiting twofo. He studiously transfers chat between the twofo Live! web interface allowing users to keep up with chat even if they don't have DC++ or any other DC client installed. This is available to all registered users of the hub. New users are able to register an account on the hub at http://www.twofo.co.uk/register.php.
Any users you see online with a (www) prefixed before their nick are using this feature to chat.
The Moviebot exists as your quick shortcut to the Internet Movie Database (IMDB) site. Pretty much every film and TV Show ever made is listed here along with reviews, user comments, trivia about the film etc
|-moviebothelp||Reasonably obvious, but better said than not, this command just gives you a list of other commands you can use to make the MovieBot do stuff|
|Links you to the most likely candidate for the name of the film you inputted. Remember to be exact here as it chooses the top item you would have gotten had you searched on the site itself and this may not always be what you were looking for.|
|Takes you to a totally random, and usually appalling, film or sometimes TV Show on IMDB.|
Twofo cannot be held responsible for any brain rot that may occur from following the advice of the MovieBot and watching random films.
The bane of many of the op's lives and occasional provider of entertainment on the hub, the TriviaBot sits and waits to be activated. Only ops can do this and they are disinclined to do so the majority of the time due to the utterly insane nature of the questions posed alot of the time, and the fact that it simply becomes a race to see who can google the fastest.
Playing is simple, just type what you think the answer to the question is, and if correct, you will be rewarded with a point.
Typing -scores will allow you to see the current scores of everybody playing. These scores are reset when an individual user leaves the hub, so even a low score can make it to the top of the list if the person stays online long enough without the Bot being reactivated.
Usually the TriviaBot is loaded for set time intervals, 20 mins for instance, and then shut off unceremoniously.
Where the ops hang out and discuss matters of national importance, or laugh at the mortals being trampled in Zeus's latest rampage.
At times of great need, or simply when one of the ops wants to be annoying, the ReminderBot can be called into action to spam out the same message at set intervals throughout the day. Normally this is only used in the run up to Twofo Socials, but has been known to be hijacked into a way of reminding yoinkster than he should play more S-Club 7.
Rumours abound about the existence of the mysterious "Hub" bot, so rarely seen since the introduction of new DC++ clients that totally ignore any messages he sends out. Left to die alone in a quiet corner of the server, it seems this bot may soon be extinct unless drastic action is taken.
Please send all donations and messages of support to Cocodude when he is next online.